𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑-𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐌𝐀
In the aftermath of the genocide against the Tutsi, many Rwandan families faced deep and lasting wounds. In response, HAGURUKA partnered with Interpeace to introduce Multi-Family Healing Spaces, a group-based therapy model involving multiple families who have experienced similar or different forms of trauma. This approach combines psychoeducation on the intergenerational transmission of trauma and hostility, healing dialogues, and the development of socioemotional skills. The aim is to strengthen collective responsibility and agency, while also improving patterns of intergenerational communication within and between families.
My Journey of Transformation: Nduwumuremyi Eugenie’s Story
I am Nduwumuremyi Eugenie, a genocide survivor living in Shyira Sector, Nyabihu District. At 45, my life had been trapped in a painful cycle of gender-based violence. For over a decade, conflict with my husband turned our family life into turmoil. After ten years of marriage, everything changed drastically. My husband, a promising district employee, became unfaithful, diverting his earnings to a concubine and neglecting his responsibilities at home. I owned a small business supplying food to local schools, which provided some financial stability, but it did little to ease the emotional burden. Our household became a battleground – constant clashes over raising our children, dividing responsibilities, and communicating. Our lives were filled with shame, resentment, and daily arguments. Neighbours saw us as a source of tension, a threat to community peace. We stopped sharing meals, conversations became arguments, and love faded away.
In 2022, I reached a breaking point and reported my husband for gender-based violence. He was detained for a year – a painful chapter filled with anger and bitterness. Upon his release, I feared the toxic cycle would resume. However, that was when everything changed. An invitation from community facilitators to join the Multifamily Healing Sessions, offered by Haguruka in partnership with Interpeace, became a pivotal moment for us. Entering that safe space with our youngest child, I did not know what to expect. What followed was a profound journey of self-discovery and healing. The sessions introduced us to the ‘tree of life’, enabling us to visualise our family dynamics and understand the roots of our behaviour. Through guided dialogues, I confronted painful truths about my own character – my tendency to fight for responsibilities, my silence, and behaviours that had troubled my spirit. I realised that I too had contributed to our conflict. Gradually, I recognised that transformation is possible for both individuals and relationships.
Today, our home is filled with love and peace, completely different from the chaos we once experienced. My husband now comes home early, and we share household expenses. The bonds we thought could never be repaired are now healed, and violence has ceased. We are now seen as a harmonious family. Recently, a neighbour sought my advice on resolving her own marital conflicts, and knowing I could help bring peace brings me great joy.